20 Best JP Morgan Pick-Up Lines

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Across the crowded room, on some enchanted San Franciscan night, you see a stranger and somehow you know, you know even then, that somewhere you’ll see her again and again. And as strange as it seems, the sound of her PowerPoint presentation will sing in your dreams. Who can explain it? Who can tell why? Fools give you reasons, but bankers never try.

At last week’s JP Morgan conference, thousands of entrepreneurs trolled the hallways and byways searching for their true venture partner—knowing, hoping, and dreaming that across that crowded room they’d fly to their side. (Our apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein.)

From the perspective of the entrepreneur seeking capital the prettiest girls at the 31st Annual JP Morgan Healthcare dance were the thousands of venture firms and their managing directors. And this year, in contrast to past meetings (I’m thinking specifically of the doom and gloom meeting of 2009), the venture community turned out big time.

VC’s Ready to Spend Again?

When the “elevator pitch” has evolved (or devolved depending on your frame of reference) into a “pick-up line” you know that something has changed. After literally years in the deep freeze, is the venture community ready to dust off those check books, put on a pretty dress and dance again with promising healthcare entrepreneurs?

Some of the sharpest observers at JP Morgan, among them Dr. Joon Yun President of Palo Alto Ventures, believe that 2013 could well be a rebound year for medical technologies and that, sometime around mid-year, the equity markets may open up enough for IPOs.

(It’s been so long, does anyone remember how it works?)

But, of course, it all starts with courtship, commitment, consummation and then setting up house. One reporter took careful note of the B2B courtship rituals occurring at the San Francisco Westin last week. He is Ron Leuty, reporter for the San Francisco Business Times and he gathered together some of the best pick up lines from the 31st Annual JP Morgan Healthcare Conference.

Starting with Number 20 and proceeding to the best line of all, here they are:

20.	“You’ve got the best set of data points I’ve seen all year.” – From Ron Leuty@rleuty_biotech
19.	“I’m real flexible and can do a reverse split” – from mbio@mcbio316
18.	“Nice antibody. Wanna conjugate?” – From Genentech@genentech
17.	“If you give me a priority review tonight I promise I won’t dilute you in the morning” – from Debarros Pierre@DPFinancials
16.	“Now that you’re approved, would you consider multiple partners?” – From RedAcreInvestments@redacre
15.	“You had me at ‘actively investing in new companies’.” – From Sam@acidulousgrace
14.	“Will you lead my seed round?” – Saira Ramasastry@sairama
13.	“Is that a biologic in your portfolio or are you just happy to see my upfront payment?” – Ron Leuty@rleuty_biotech
12.	“Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to show you my term sheet a second time?” – Prescience_LS@Prescience_LS
11.	“Let’s you and I put together an exit strategy.” – SEMDA Conference@SEMDA
10.	“So, is your strategy to focus on one thing or multiple shots on goal?” – Biotechstockresearch@biotechstockrsr
9.	“There’s nothing generic about you.” – From Ivor Caftor@kalydeco
8.	“Is that a big binary event or r u just happy to see me?” – From mcbio@mcbio316
7.	“You’re my catalyst for long term growth” – Marc Lichtenfeld@stocksnboxing
6.	“Let me complete your portfolio” – Michelle Avery@MBLmichelle
5.	“If I said you had a monoclonal antibody, would you hold it against me?” – From Jim Gardner@jimgardnersf
4.	“I’ll show you my preliminary Phase 3 clinical trial results if you show me yours.” – From Jennifer Chang@jenchang1
3.	“I could really leverage your core assets.” – From Ron Leuty@rleuty_biotech
2.	“Want to form a synapse with me and exchange neurotransmitters?” – Dr. Steven Eisenberg@drseisenberg
1.	“I’ve got the compound if you’ve got the interest.” – From Jim Gardner@jimgardnersf

Assessing JP Morgan This Year

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The JP Morgan Healthcare Conference is the most important healthcare meeting of the year. With 9, 000 attendees and covering medical devices, pharma and biotech, it provides an unparalleled context within which to evaluate new and promising healthcare technologies.

Joon Yun, M.D., President, Palo Alto Investors and one of the most sought after attendees was particularly upbeat after this year’s meeting. He recently wrote:

On the pipeline front, the creative verve that launched the biotech industry in San Francisco during the 1970s has never been more evident. The number of compelling early stage compounds that could address unmet medical needs are in the hundreds, if not thousands.

I know some folks who attended the adolescent years of the Conference that don’t bother to show up at all anymore. For them there is a sense of Paradise Lost. Yet among the growing tribe that attended this year, there are feelings of hope and optimism about the industry. The Conference is a big part of the reason why the NASDAQ Biotechnology Index is up 3% through Wednesday in an otherwise down week for the overall markets.

In summary, JP Morgan this year represented many enchanted evenings for its attendees. Now comes the fun part. Waiting to see what may be born from the B2B mating ritual that was this conference.